Demons in my head…


Today I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and we got on the subject of depression and suicide.

Now both my friend and I have had struggles with drugs, depression and life in general, but we both dealt with our issues in our own way. Luckily we both are still alive. However we both have friends who have not been so lucky.

We got on the topic of suicide after depression gets to be to much. We discussed our friends and how they must of felt before killing themselves. We talked about how Robin Williams must of felt as well.

After a long interesting conversation he says something that left me thinking…..he tells me:

“A lot of people are quick to call someone selfish when they commit suicide but I think those people are the real selfish ones. They don’t stop to think about the demons those people fight on a daily basis. I don’t agree with suicide but I understand what they go thru.”

Hours later I’m still thinking about what he said.

What do u think?

P.s. How was your day?


3 thoughts on “Demons in my head…

  1. It’s really hectic, because last night, after I relapsed and I was seriously contemplating and playing with the idea of killing myself, I also thought about the people that I have known that killed themselves, and we all so quick to call them selfish. I don’t think so anymore. No one knows how dark someone else’s mind can get, but living in mine I have some idea.
    Last night I was thinking of writing to my family saying that the first time I entered into recovery it was for them, but now I’m “going away” because I truly believe that it would be less painful for them than to watch me suffering through life.
    Anyway, that’s just how I feel today and nevermind how I felt last night.
    But I am going to try again, because I know that when I sit with them again and smile and love, it will be all worth it.
    Love and light

  2. I agree with your friend, it is selfish for those left behind, those that lost a friend or family member, those that are left behind have no idea what this person went through, is going through. So yes selfish, but yay for selfish, for if that is what helps people with dark thoughts re-think.. or put off the pull for another day, then yay for selfish. I am selfish, I have lost family this way, so yes selfish. If this is the pull that keeps someone here, to fight.

    I wish, when those thoughts pull so hard, that the person reaches out, clearly, yes they don’t want to, the decision is made, in their mind. It is the wrong decision though, created with muddy thoughts, lying depression that distorts thinking. There are tomorrows, if you allow it, and one of those tomorrows could be better, there are no do overs. Be a burden, let someone in, for you would do the same.

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